Thursday, April 14, 2011

More from Helen Rowland

Thursday, April 14, 2011
Loretta reports:

From the era of Downton Abbey, more from Helen Rowland.

A man weddeth a woman in order to escape loneliness, and immediately thereafter joineth a club in order to escape the woman.

He marryeth a damsel because she appealeth to his "higher nature", and spendeth all the rest of his days seeking after those who appeal to his lower nature.

A woman is cast down with doubts lest a man doth not love her; but a man never troubleth his soul, as to whether or not a woman loveth him, but as to whether or not he wanteth her to love him.

Behold, an honest woman may cheat at cards, but never at love; but he considereth himself an "honorable man" that never cheateth at a game of poker though he never playeth fair at the game of hearts.

Go to! Think no man in love while he flattereth thee and extolleth all thy ways; but, when he beginneth to moralize and to criticise thy hats, then mayest thou plan thy trousseau.

When he saveth thy life it may be for chivalry's sake; but when he carryeth an umbrella to please thee it is for love's sake.

Be not set up when a man giveth thee the key to his heart, for, peradventure, upon the following day, he may change the lock!

Then, how shall a woman understand a man, since they are all cut upon the bias!

Verily, verily, by turning him around , my Daughter, and reading him backward, even as a Chinese laundry ticket!

The sayings of Mrs. Solomon: being the confessions of the seven hundredth wife as revealed to Helen Rowland, 1913


Pai said...

What does 'they are cut upon the bias' mean? I followed the rest of the text, but that phrase puzzles me.

Mish J Holman said...

Wonderful stuff.

To 'cut upon the bias' is a term familiar to all dressmakers. The bias is the direction of a piece of woven fabric. Wikipedia explains it well:

"A garment made of woven fabric is said to be "cut on the bias" when the fabric's warp and weft threads are at 45 degrees to its major seam lines".

Susan/DC said...

The comments were quite funny even though they were often painfully true (althought do not apply to my husband, for which I give thanks every day).

As for the statement about men being cut on the bias, I think it's meant to imply that men are not straightforward along the threads but angled across. Although I should add that garments made of fabric cut on the bias often drape beautifully across the body, so perhaps we may apply the same thought to men.

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