From the era of Downton Abbey, more from Helen Rowland.
~~~A man weddeth a woman in order to escape loneliness, and immediately thereafter joineth a club in order to escape the woman.
He marryeth a damsel because she appealeth to his "higher nature", and spendeth all the rest of his days seeking after those who appeal to his lower nature.
A woman is cast down with doubts lest a man doth not love her; but a man never troubleth his soul, as to whether or not a woman loveth him, but as to whether or not he wanteth her to love him.
Behold, an honest woman may cheat at cards, but never at love; but he considereth himself an "honorable man" that never cheateth at a game of poker though he never playeth fair at the game of hearts.
Go to! Think no man in love while he flattereth thee and extolleth all thy ways; but, when he beginneth to moralize and to criticise thy hats, then mayest thou plan thy trousseau.
When he saveth thy life it may be for chivalry's sake; but when he carryeth an umbrella to please thee it is for love's sake.
Be not set up when a man giveth thee the key to his heart, for, peradventure, upon the following day, he may change the lock!
Then, how shall a woman understand a man, since they are all cut upon the bias!
Verily, verily, by turning him around , my Daughter, and reading him backward, even as a Chinese laundry ticket!
The sayings of Mrs. Solomon: being the confessions of the seven hundredth wife as revealed to Helen Rowland, 1913
What does 'they are cut upon the bias' mean? I followed the rest of the text, but that phrase puzzles me.
ReplyDeleteWonderful stuff.
ReplyDeleteTo 'cut upon the bias' is a term familiar to all dressmakers. The bias is the direction of a piece of woven fabric. Wikipedia explains it well:
"A garment made of woven fabric is said to be "cut on the bias" when the fabric's warp and weft threads are at 45 degrees to its major seam lines".
The comments were quite funny even though they were often painfully true (althought do not apply to my husband, for which I give thanks every day).
ReplyDeleteAs for the statement about men being cut on the bias, I think it's meant to imply that men are not straightforward along the threads but angled across. Although I should add that garments made of fabric cut on the bias often drape beautifully across the body, so perhaps we may apply the same thought to men.